How To Make Divorce Easier on the Kids

Give them continuity.

The break-up of a family can bring a lot of stressful changes along the way. Try to maintain the same daily routines and special traditions that your family had before the separation.  

Give your kids choices. 

After a divorce, kids can feel like they have no control over their lives. As long as their choices are not destructive to them, let them have options between things that are important to them.  For example, simple choices like what to eat or wear, what days they spend with the other parent, and how their room is decorated will help your kids feel less powerless during this unsetting time.

Keep in touch with them.

On days that you do not have custody of your children, do special things to let them know you are thinking about them. Give them something to remind them of you, leave them special notes where they will find them, or leave messages on their cell phone.  Be creative in finding ways to make your kids feel special even when you can’t be there.

Make new memories.

Most people who went through a divorce as children have few happy childhood memories. Make it a point to give your children good memories every time they stay with you so they will not just remember the difficulty of driving back and forth to their parents’ homes.  This can be as simple as letting them take turns choosing activities they would like to do, such board games, a bike ride, a museum, or going to the play in the park. Give your kids something to look forward to every time they come to your home.

Remember marriage counseling can help you avoid divorcing and help you rebuild your marriage.