Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck were more than just a Hollywood power couple. They were also the type of couple that a lot of couples aspire to be. His teary-eyed, heartfelt acceptance speech at the Grammy's was enough to make many women swoon. It's difficult to not be impressed by a man who unabashedly thanks and weeps over his wife and children on live television. When news of the their impending separation hit, followed by rumors of infidelity hit, however, public opinion dramatically changed. What people forgot is that celebrity relationships are fraught with all of the same problems that regular relationships are fraught with, and more. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are real people and the basic problem in their relationship is a very common one.
Failing To Understand The Importance Of True Monogamy
Marriage has long been held as the sacred union that honors the binding of two people as one. Marriage is in large part, the sacrifice of self in order to enhance the self by joining it to another. This is a concept that many people find hard to swallow, but it is an inevitable part of forging a marriage that actually works. Anything without this acceptance is just a legal agreement that's subject to eventual dissolution. It is also a failure to honor and adhere to the true definition of monogamy which is as much emotional and spiritual as it is physical. Married people can cheat on one another without ever being physically unfaithful. When men or women have social connections or bonds outside of the relationship that trump or supersede those of the actual, marital union, they are cheating.
The Problem With Plutonic Relationships
Emotional affairs can exist in countless circumstances. When married people start making same-sex friend or same-interest friends, they have to be mindful of the fact that sexual undertones, jealousy and a whole host of other, unnecessary and wholly avoidable problems can start to rear their heads. No on can truly determine exactly what went wrong between Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, but what does seem apparent is that honoring the vow of monogamy, whether emotionally, physically or spiritual, was problematic.
Cheating Can Occur In Many Different Arenas
You don't have to have a physical or emotional affair in order to break your vow of monogamy. Some people are in danger of putting their careers and their outside interests of their partners. In the broadest since, cheating can actually be any repeated behavior that makes your partner feel unappreciated and under-valued. Identifying and addressing these areas before too much relationship damage has been done is often essential for preserving unions. In fact, it is usually the most effective way.
This is the primary goal of marriage counseling in many cases. To identify different areas in which important marital vows are being overlooked. When one partner begins to feel undervalued and unappreciated, there is a higher likelihood of infidelity occurring in other areas of the relationship. People are more likely to seek physical intimacy from another source when they aren't being emotionally bolstered and support at home. In this way, taking couples counseling is not just a way to salvage a marriage after infidelity. It is also the most proactive, preventative measure for ensuring that monogamy is being honored at all times and in every way.