Revenge Affairs...Do They Work?

What Is A Revenge Affair?

    This affair occurs after an injured spouse feels like they are not healing and they want to make their betraying spouse understand the pain they are in. Typically this occurs after several months of trying to recover from the affair and they feel like are not getting answers as to why it occurred. The betrayer may have an affair in this scenario for several different reasons i.e. to boaster their self-esteem, feel desired, or they rationalize, "I'm a person too you can't keep treating me this way." 

    Characteristics of the Revenge Affair

    • The person having the revenge affair wants the attention and support of their spouse
    • Doesn't care if they remain married or not
    • Is getting burned out and using their own affair as a means to get their spouse's attention

    Does The Revenge Affair Work?

    Ultimately, it works to get the attention of your spouse, but the means you take by cheating too, doesn't make you feel any better.  In fact, it makes the healing process more complicated and painful for BOTH people no matter if you stay in the relationship or not.  Most people think they'll feel better after they "get back at their spouse" but they usually don't.  Essentially, you'll wake up after with a hangover and just feel more and more lonely and bitter in the end.  

    You can't right a wrong with a wrong, two wrongs don't make a right, etc. etc....those sayings are so true. In the end, most people regret it.  Plus, you may decide to work on the marriage....most people do!  If you cheat too then your feelings of betrayal will be met with equal feelings of betrayal and the recovery process is just more complicated.

    So take it from the pros, don't add fuel to the fire it doesn't go well for you.