How to Rekindle the Romantic Love When It’s Lost

Simply put, do new, exciting, and different activities together. Exciting experiences enhance feelings of attraction. 

When you do something with your spouse that gives you a feeling of danger, it stimulates adrenaline. Adrenaline as psychologist have pointed out, makes us feel closer and more romantic with our spouse. 

Doing new, exciting, and different activities elevates the level of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine is the chemical associated with romantic love. Research has pointed out that couples who do exciting, adrenaline pumping activities as compared to less stimulating, more normal, average activities together have increased feelings of happiness and more intense feelings of romantic love. 

This can work even if you are the only one trying to work on the relationship. You should invite them to join you in something risky and exciting. Maybe travel over night or out of the country, go bungee jumping, river rafting, or trying a new restaurant, doing something at the last minute to a sports game or to the theater, or swimming after the sun goes down. It is important to understand that anything rousing and unusual has the potential to trigger romantic love. 

Here are some more ideas: 

  1. seeing something on the side of the road and pulling off to go explore
  2. going to the gun range together 
  3. swimming in the backyard at night
  4. a last minute trip
  5. instead of the normal movie and dinner, put a sheet up in the backyard and watch a movie in the moonlight.

There are literally hundreds of ideas if you use your imagination!  It just needs to be exciting, new, and different to recapture the feelings of romantic love.

It is always important to seek counseling to help with this process.

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“Brad Robinson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an expert in infidelity recovery in Tulsa, OK. Together with his wife Morgan Robinson they teach people about how to understand and overcome infidelity and how to make their marriage thrive even after betrayal. You can learn more about their work by visiting