When Friendly Becomes Flirty And How To Protect Your Marriage From Potential Infidelity

We all want to connect and feel wanted and desired especially by our partner.  It’s a basic human need.

We’ve talked with thousands of couples through out the years and as we meet with them on a daily basis we hear many consistent answers as to why happily married men flirt.

The biggest reason we hear is that they flirt because they want to know they’re still desirable.  Do they still have what it takes to excite and impress?

It’s not that they have a bad marriage.  It’s not even a fault in their spouse.

It can, however, be really difficult for their spouse to not take it personally.  Partner’s begin to wonder if they’re good enough and if they should fear the possibility of infidelity.

Is It Always Flirting?

It’s important to point out that what is flirtatious to one person can be completely innocent and meaningless to someone else.  This is why it’s so incredibly important to listen to your partner’s feelings about how your actions impact them.  

Sometimes their intentions are just to be friendly and they don't mean to come across as flirtatious...but the receiving party takes the interaction as a come on.  

But more importantly their spouse considers their actions to be flirtatious and that can be problematic.

How Can Flirtation Become Infidelity?

It can be dicey waters when the person who is being flirted with decides they like the attention.  They could want a relationship and press for one when a relationship is not wanted initially.

This could lead the man to be lured into a troubling relationship if he doesn’t put up boundaries and stop the advancement dead in it’s tracks.

Are Some People More At Risk Than Others?

Yes, super extraverted and outgoing confident people tend to be perceived as more flirtatious. 

Everyone needs to be careful about how they may be perceived by the person they’re talking with.  Not just for their sake but for the sake of the person they’re speaking with. You don’t want to send the wrong message that you’re interested in something more.

This doesn’t mean that you change your personality.  It also doesn’t mean that you have to never have a friendly conversation with someone potentially attractive.  It simply means be aware of a few clues that you might be venturing into dangerous territory.

How To Know If You’re Leading Someone On (By Accident)

There are a few clues that the other person wants more.

Pay attention to the person’s verbal and physical cues.  That will help to know if the friendly conversation is taking a wrong turn.

  • Are they gazing into your eyes a little too long?
  • Do they stand a little taller or reveal a little too much when you come around?
  • Do they ask a few too many personal questions?
  • Do they find ways to be near you?

These are just a few examples.

Sometimes an extra marital relationship is not initially sought after by happy husbands.  It’s the person who craves their attention who makes the advances.  Sometimes the advances are subtle.

When Is Your Marriage Most Vulnerable?

When we don’t feel connected to our spouse we tend to be more vulnerable to infidelity because humans are inherently relational beings.  

However, if your finding yourself flirting, something might be missing in your emotional world that can be easily remedied with our help.