Sexual Abuse "Affair"?


Imagine you discover your spouse has been talking to someone else.  You know they've been doing something shady because you've discovered text messages and your friends are talking. Then you hear there's been sex and now your spouse is telling you they were taken advantage of...what would you do?  Would you believe them?

The Sexual Abuse “Affair”

This type of affair occurs when somebody has been raped or forced into sex by another individual, but the spouse doesn't believe that he or she has been taken advantage, as a result the spouse was sexually coerced is in a horrible position because they've been sexually assaulted and their spouse believes they were an active participant in an affair. 

Characteristics of Sexual Abuse "Affairs":

  • Sexual contact was attempted or forced on a spouse. 
  • It is possible the spouse may have started to be a willing participant at first, but changed their mind at some time during sexual activity. 
  • It is possible the spouse was a passive participant to the abuse. 
  • Because this is rare the spouse who wasn’t "involved" doesn’t believe they were raped or taken advantage of, which only leads to more shame for the “involved” spouse. 
  • This happens with both men and women. I’ve seen these couples in my office. 

This can be a hard position for anyone to be in.  First, the abuse then the feelings of betrayal on both sides is incredible.