1. Why did this happen?
2. How do I know this won't happen again?
3. Were you thinking of me?
A philosopher once said, “If you have a big enough ‘why’ you can tolerate any ‘what’.”
It may surprise you to hear that both the betrayed spouse AND the betrayer need to understand the “why” behind the infidelity.
But it is important that before you talk about the “why” you need to talk about the who, what, where, when, and how of the affair first.
If you jump to the “why” it is likely that you will fall into a bad cycle of blame. This is because the betrayer often doesn’t really know “why” and it is often easy to blame the betrayed spouse or the marriage.
Sure, quite a few factors played into the “why” this happened but it is important to realize the affair must be dealt with first before we look at other aspects of the relationship that led up to the affair.
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“Brad Robinson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an expert in infidelity recovery in Tulsa, OK. Together with his wife Morgan Robinson they teach people about how to understand and overcome infidelity and how to make their marriage thrive even after betrayal. You can learn more about their work by visiting https://healingbrokentrust.com/learnmore