Fixing Yourself Alone Doesn't Fix The Relationship

We know that when we get married that we are marrying an individual with many habits, personality traits, likes, dislikes, and of course a person with a history.  As we embark on a new future we have to recognize that we each have experienced different painful events and moments that sometimes get in the way of living a happy and healthy life.  

Some people feel like they shouldn’t get married or strike up friendships because there is something wrong with themselves and they need to be fixed before they can move forward with another person.  Now sometimes this is warranted - but more often than not - what you are experiencing is something that thousands of people face and to have someone walk through the fire and work it out with you is just what you need.  

We often think of couples therapy as just working on the relationship but more and more we see that couples therapy is also very useful for helping with individual issues as well. 

Research conducted by a group called Barlow & Colleagues found that when spouses were included in treatment for anxiety, success rate jumped from 46 to 82%.

The study also says that “recently, couple therapy has also been used to address “individual” problems such as depression and anxiety disorders, agoraphobia, addictions, and eating disorders (Baucom, Shoham, Mueser, Daiuto, & Stickle, 1998).”

In our office we have found that relationships are profoundly effected by depression and post traumatic stress caused by things like infidelity, past sexual abuse, and abuse by previous relationships.  It is amazing what a caring and attentive spouse can do for a person’s healing.  To know that someone will do what it takes to help you overcome the demons means so much.  It does not go overlooked and unappreciated.  

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“Brad Robinson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an expert in infidelity recovery in Tulsa, OK. Together with his wife Morgan Robinson they teach people about how to understand and overcome infidelity and how to make their marriage thrive even after betrayal. You can learn more about their work by visiting