Some marriage therapists don't believe that military couples experience any unique challenges apart from other couples. We at Marriage Solutions understand the unique concerns and challenges you face as a military family.
PTSD is a very real concern. But even if a couple doesn't battle PTSD they do struggle with a long distance relationship. It is hard to be separated for long periods of time. It's hard on the best marriages.
On this page we will provide the following:
- A brief explanation on how we help
- How to set your first appointment
- Articles we've written to help you specifically
How We Help Military Couples
Each couple is unique but there are several common concerns that military couples share that we have to be mindful of. The first is the unique negative cycle that is present in your relationship. The limited time you have together is extremely valuable.
But military couples struggle with an extra layer of stress because they've been separated for a period of time. The spouse who stays home adapts to a certain way of life. When their partner re-enters the picture it can be difficult because they too have a way of doing things. It can be hard to learn how to do life together again.
The time they do have together is often riddled with resentment and bickering. So typically the first aspect we need to deal with is the negative cycle around doing life again together.
The next thing that often comes up for couples is transitioning the soldier back to the civilian. When a military person goes into the work of being a soldier they have to have a certain mindset that often doesn't work in family life. They typically have to shut off feelings and stay focused on the life or death situation in front of them. If they get caught in emotion then someone can lose their life.
But transitioning back home is challenging because they've gone for such a long period of time without expressing vulnerable emotions...trying to do that as a parent or spouse is hard. A further challenge for their family is because they don't have room for emotion or the ability to express it freely, they have a tendency to shut it down when another person expresses it.
So their spouse is not free to express the range of emotion they need to express to be a fully functioning person. And that trickles down to the children as well. As the marriage therapist we have to help both people feel safe to express difficult emotions. Before we can do that we have to help both partners identify how they're feeling.
When you haven't paid attention to deeper emotions for a long time...you need help to do that. You need to know what you need to practice in order be able to share and let your spouse into your personal space.
Why is this important?
This is incredibly important because when you shut off difficult emotion intimacy is impossible. Maybe you can have sex...but you can't have a deep personal relationship with your spouse or children. Tapping into and sharing vulnerable emotion with your family is the life blood to the relationship.
Here's How This Works...
We meet with you either weekly or for a 1, 2, or 3 day intensive. You can meet virtually or in person. We recommend meeting with your partner but if you need to come alone from time to time that is okay. We work very hard to make everything equal and balanced between partners in therapy.
Setting Your First Appointment
You can call our office at 918-281-6060 or 405-237-9697 to ask questions and to book. A deposit is required for the first appointment and payment is required for every coaching call and intensive retreat in advance.
More Helpful Related Posts
This is specifically why we've written several articles to help military families. Check out a few helpful blog posts: