Conflict Resolution In Marriage
Often couples feel trapped in negative conflict. It can feel like conversations go nowhere and nothing gets resolved. This is often when couples give us a call. They ask, "how are you going to help us resolve our conflict?" So here's our answer...
1. Couples don't need tired communication techniques
Why would you pay us for something you can basically read in a book or find in a popular blog...if it's so popular why doesn't it actually work?
The reason these "communication techniques" don't work....you know the ones I'm talking about.....where you take turns taking the "floor"....or follow some speaking rules....they don't work because they only deal with the surface level issues AND once things get heated it's pretty much impossible to bring yourself back from the edge, you know what I mean?
2. Old conflict resolution techniques deal with the surface not the roots of the problems
Most of the time we don't have trouble communicating...I mean you can talk to colleagues, friends, and other family members pretty easily, right? You don't have a problem communicating really....except when you try to get needs met with your spouse. But "communication" isn't the problem...getting needs met is the problem.
So if communication techniques are the surface issues then the roots are the underlying needs. Typically, the root of the whole thing is wanting to feel accepted, wanted, and close to our partner. "But how do we achieve this?" Great question!
3. Discovering Real Conflict Resolution
Most of us want to know that our partner has our back and really cares about us. Unfortunately, we dig for this in unproductive ways. Instead of sharing our soft side with our spouse we put up our defenses.
This looks a lot like conflict. So the way we resolve conflict is we start by helping people soften their approach to getting their needs met. Then we help them heal the hurts they caused when they were stuck in conflict. Then we help you make a plan for handling conflict in the future.
The best way to know what conflict resolution style works best for you is to come up with a customized plan for your unique needs. "What? What do you mean...unique to us?" Great question!
4. A Customized Conflict Resolution Plan
Each couple that comes to us comes with a unique set of personal experiences. We're not all turned on by the same things...that's why we marry different people, right?
Being unique individuals, with unique experiences, requires a unique plan that takes it all into account. Once we've removed the conflict, and helped you heal the wounds, now we can make that plan.
Why Choose Us?
High Success Rate
Because of our focus, the good news is 75% of our couples fully recover within 20-30 hours and 86-90% make significant improvement within that time as well.
When researchers followed up with the couples 3 years later they found that 90% had maintained their improvement.
So that means that couples are getting better and staying better. That’s not something you can achieve by reading a book, going on vacation, or working with a general therapist.
True Relationship Experts
This is all we do. We focus just on couples. We're the oldest, longest running, couples exclusive practice in Oklahoma. We’re the only place in Oklahoma that focuses on helping couples heal long term.
What that means to you is you're getting the very best care and when you get better you'll stay better. When you finish the process with us, you won't just revert back to the same old issues you had before therapy.
Accessible Options for All Couples
We offer 1-on-1 personalized options for couples virtually and in person. So you can get relaitonship help no matter where you are in the world.
Something unique to us is our extended sessions. The average therapist sees a client for 45 minutes to an hour. But we find it's just too incredibly short for couples.
You’ve just gotten started and comfortable and then all of a sudden the session is over. So couples are more successful when they do at least 2 hour sessions, or the full day 1-on-1 retreats (6 hours, 3 in AM and 3 in PM).
You don’t feel as rushed in your sessions, you get a lot further in a session, and you take off less work overall as well.